Coping with Infertility during the Holidays

Mark P. Trolice, MD, FACOG, FACS
Director, Fertility C.A.R.E.

Infertility affects approximately 6 million people in the United States. Once a couple recognizes they are having difficulty conceiving, their lives are affected in many ways and on many levels. While the holidays can be stressful even under the best of circumstances, infertile couples often experience more of a challenge by fluctuating between various degrees of anger and depression. The holiday season seems to only emphasize their sense of loss. Important steps for couples to cope are recognition that these moods are common and acceptance of these emotions without guilt. Whether through professional counseling or support groups, couples can have their feelings validated which helps to plan for the holidays with a more positive mental health.

A common "side effect" of infertility is experiencing a sense of being "out of control." As a result, preparing for the holidays can be very helpful. For example, shopping for gifts early in the season, or on the Internet, can avoid being exposed to seasonal festivities in malls and eliminates the general stress of last minute shopping. Other helpful coping measures are:

1. deciding in advance which events are comfortable to attend;
2. taking a vacation or planning an elegant evening with child-free friends; and
3. responding to insensitive comments with honesty, avoidance, or even humor.

Lastly, in case you encounter a situation in which you feel overwhelmed, have someone you can call or try diverting your attention to a positive image.

While infertility can be difficult at any time of year, advances in infertility treatment have assisted many couples in their goal of a healthy baby. Talking to an infertility specialist can provide you with answers to difficult questions and with a plan of treatment that may give you hope and direction. An integral part of your treatment is finding a doctor who is sensitive, caring, and one in whom you have confidence. The strength that sustains couples through the diagnosis of infertility will support them through other trying times in life. Often the couple emerges with a deeper understanding of their lives and love for each other.

Read More: Coping Skills For Dealing With Fertility & The Holidays